Now hear me out for a second, saying “I
love you” is important but it is more
important to actually mean what you say.
Love is also just as important as some of the
values listed below. Am I cold-hearted? No.
Maybe a little bitter? Possibly, but that does
not change the fact that people today use the
word “love” like it is any other word in the
dictionary, such as pizza or Toronto for
Sometimes we lose sight of what is really
important because we think loving someone
is the sole reason to be in a relationship, but
it’s not. Here are the values I think are more
important than love for a relationship to
Trust is one of the most important factors
in a relationship. If you don’t trust the
person you are with, then it is probably not a
healthy, stable relationship and you most
likely feel insecure about it. Trust grows
stronger over time and can definitely be built
– a lack of trust early on in the relationship
just means there is work to do.
Being truthful and honest is major when it
comes to relationships. A relationship built
on false hope and white lies will only crumble
in the end, no matter how much you love the
other person. Being honest leads to good
communication, which can strengthen
many aspects of a relationship.
Regardless of sounding like a cliché, love
can be binding especially when it comes to
self-worth. No amount of love is worth giving
up who you are and the respect you deserve.
Love is not a justification for disrespect or
abuse. Partners must be respectful of
each other and who they are for a healthy
relationship to grow.
Communication is key in any relationship
to define boundaries. You need it to express
feelings, needs and expectations. You need it
to solve conflicts and you even need it when it
comes to intimacy. Without good
communication, how can anything in the
relationship be clear and the rest of these
values be strengthened?
This one is up there with trust. If you don’t
have the loyalty to stay faithful to your
partner and the relationship then why are
you in a relationship at all? Loyalty acts as a
building block in relationships for other
values such as those on this list. You have to
actually want to be in a relationship and
commit to it in order for it to work.
Okay to be fair, you can’t be happy all the
time, but it is what everyone wants and
deserves regardless. Relationships aren’t
always sunshine and rainbows, but the happy
times should far outweigh the unhappy
ones. Being happy is really important in a
relationship and if you are not happy then it
is time to move on.
Relationships are all about give and take. If
one partner only takes and never gives,
something is bound to break. Healthy
relationships need compromise in order to
work and to establish happiness between both
If you don’t feel safe with your significant
other then you are not in the right
relationship. Nothing is more important than
your own safety and security. Love makes it
hard, but it is not worth it if you are being
abused in any way. If you are not safe then
how can you possibly be happy?
Some couples eat, sleep, breathe and live
together – and that is okay! However, it is
important to have individual time and space
away from your significant other every now
and again. Even if you two have similar
hobbies or genuinely enjoy spending as much
time as possible with one another, you should
never put aside your own identity for anyone.
Along with having individual space, you
both also need to be a strong as a
couple. You are not a mother or a nurse or a
maid (although you may play these roles
occasionally), you are an equal partner in the
relationship and if you are not being treated
as such then that is an issue. You both are
individuals who need to come together as a
team to maintain an equal playing field.